take off your pants and jacket

Ladies and gents, boys and girls...allow me to announce that I, Scotty Iseri, have conquered yet another apex of adulthood and got m'self a grown-up job.

My official title is "New Media Director" but it looks like what i'll be doing is producing a radio show, and making videos and other multi-media goodness for a website.

But the biggest trouble is that after years of the freelance lifestyle, wherein the uniform consists of whatever passes the smell test, now, for a couple days a week anyway, I am resigned to what is popularly known as business casual.

For example, my first day of work...wherein i dressed like this:





Note the nice slacks...the belt...the shirt tucked in...with no coffee stains. The whole package. Now compare that with day 2 wherein i was working from home



Note the smug sense of self-satisfaction...the lack of shower or contact lenses. I don't even think i'm wearing pants.

By day three, another day at the home office, i had devolved into shirtless cereal slurping.




You'd be surprised how much more work i get done the less i'm wearing. If only they'd let me tech in the nude.

Day four i barely got out of bed.



And again, i discovered exactly how productive i can be without pants on. Booked guests, started editing...even wrote a report on web media strategies (which is far more interesting than it sounds...especially when you're not wearing pants).

Unfortunately all good things must come to an end, and by friday i was back in the office, be-tied, and be-slacked. Friday is casual friday which essentially means no tie and jeans, but i felt the need to make up for my week of pantsless productivity.




And here's where the jackassery started. There should be a study done on length of exposure to harsh flourescent lighting and cubicle dust to the amount of time spent on boingboing in an office environment. Perhaps that's my lot in life...discover the link between business casual, and dicking around on the internet. Until then, i've got an interview to edit.

In case you missed my birthday

I don't care who you are or what you do.

I don't care what you believe in or what kind of screwy crap you have under your bed.

I don't care what your kink is, as long as we're all consenting and legal.

I don't care if you're a good person or an evil scumbag.

Just BUY ME THIS

I wanna try role playing games

No...that's not what you're thi...this is hard to admit, okay?

The past few months i've gotten back in touch with some childhood passions: I've started reading comic books regularly again. I bought an NES emulator and had a field day downloading all the games I ever wanted to play, but could never afford when they were going for fifty bucks a pop at the toys R us.

But i've only played roleplaying games twice. Once in college where Dan Walker tried to walk me through creating a some kind of cyberpunk, skateboard hacker/thief type thing but we got too drunk to actually start hacking mainframes and fighting orcs (or whatever).

The second time was when i worked for Idaho Shakespeare festival where the entire shop crew got together to play a campaign (as they're known) on our days off. It was fun, from what i remember, but we never got to finish it for a variety of reasons...one of them involving sexual shenanegins with a church going mormon, and another involving derogatory language towards a lesbian. Neither of which i was involved in BTW.

It's the damndest thing. If i wanted, say, to try skiing, or kickball, or any number of other hobbies...i know who to talk to. But for RPGs? is that the final frontier of nerd acceptance? When comic book movies are the #1 movies in America, and the video game industry are worth billions, are Role Playing Games still in the closet kinda?

At the very least, I don't know who to go to for this particular need, but if you're reading this and you have a "Friend" that might be interested in taking my hand and lead me into this strange, and orc-filled world...well, let's just say i'm "Try-Curious."

Highly personalized survey that will tell you absolutely nothing about yourself or your friends.

Get it?

Should i start considering that jewish people might be offended when i ask questions about their religion. To wit: "passover? is that the one where you get drunk and wear a costume?"

I am worried that I will have to purchase new clothes for my new job. This is only a problem because i spent all my money on a brand new scooter, which will be decidedly more difficult to wear to the office. So on that note, what, exactly, is "Business Casual"?

On a related note, please list, in order of preference, the best title to put on a business card:
Scotty Iseri: New Media Poobah, Audio Barbarian, Resident Geek, Intarwebz Consultant, LOLProducer.

On a completely unrelated note: If this song isn't the #1 smash hit single of the summer I'll eat my hat. Exactly how wrong is Lori to hate this song?

Nude photos of me have recently surfaced. I was under the impression that these photos were long since destroyed.

Why is Mike Doughty's latest album so bad? Did i get old, or did he? I'm going to lean towards him, but what do i know?

Does anybody know where to find a Karaoke bar that has private rooms in Vegas? Private rooms for karaoke, not for...you know...marital things.

I accidentally wrote "Martial Things" instead of "Marital Things" in the previous question. What exactly are "Martial Things"?

Have you been to billclintonturdblog.com yet? Why not? It's not a scheise site. Would you be more inclined to go if it was?

I'm working on a fiction podcast. Are you more likely to a) download and listen to a fiction podcast, b) poke a sharp stick in your ear?

How often does the surgeon general advise eating Ice Cream for dinner?

How much should i worry about proving my heterosexuality to my fiancee if i asked for tickets to this for my birthday?

Both R.E.M. and the B-52's have a new album out this year. Discuss. Discuss how old that makes you feel. I know, right?

Append the phrase "gone wild" to a well known title for comic effect. Example: "Little Women: Gone Wild!" "The Trials of Oscar Wilde: Gone Wild!" "American Girl Gone Wild Place". Show your work.


Repost! On teh Myspace! Or teh Facebook.


Bonus question: how many years before "teh" becomes the default setting for "the" in microsoft word?

Maximum Podthing Episode Four: Maximum Podthing Mustachetown

Tim and I are back, with 50+ minutes of maximum podthing:

Just, just deplorable sound quality this time around. So if you want to fast forward past the mustache talk, the doomsday praise, and the discussion of whether or not drinking diet coke plus transforms one into a homosexual, head straight to the last 6 minutes for the unveiling of the newest member of the maximum podthing family:

www.billclintonturdblog.com

Click to play