Secret Santa Chapter 3!

Here's a picture of my dad, excitedly holding up an ICP shirt.
Because it's awesome.
Plus, there's a new secret santa out there. Tom's package was awesome (get your mind out the gutter!), so we here at the Scotty Iseri Media Empire tossed out another'n!





You might have to lift the papers up to find it. In fact, you definitely will have to lift the papers up to find it.

Full details can be found here.

Also, brand new Work Related VM:

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Go get it!

Secret Santa Chapter 2!

Somebody found the first package!

Somebody named Tom. Tom's an awesome feller, but there's a problem:

His package, which looks like this:














Was hidden in an ingenious location:
Here:














Not the one downtown, but here;














He even found a clever location:

See?

But Tom is quite the daredevil in all this. What happens when security finds it? Will he be arrested for trespassing? Is he a homeland security threat? Who will find his package? Will it be you? There’s a sense of urgency this time around, so if’n nobody claims it in the next 48 hours, I’m-a have to brave the department store wilds and snag it my damn-self. Just to keep poor tom from being detained in Gitmo.



GET ON IT! HELP KEEP TOM OUT OF CIA-Sponsored prison!

BRS Album preview

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Christmas Hater Part 2

Trust me, no one hates Christmas like I do. It's been that way for quite some time. Thank god for the internet, which lets me avoid the hustle, bustle, holiday shoppers and EVER PRESENT JINGLE BELLS.

(The sound of jingle bells causes an allergic reaction in me that results in hives, acne, boils, and other various skin conditions too numerous and mucus-y to detail here"


But I do like getting free stuff. And as any elementary Sunday School teacher can tell you, the best way to get stuff is to give stuff away.

So it's with that in mind I hereby call a Secret Santa Scavenger Hunt. What is that you might ask?

It's a way for you to get free stuff. Presents!

Go here to check out all the details.

Short version? I hid a present in the city.

Here's some clues on where to find it:

The Present Looks like this:


IT's hidden Here:


Which is right off of this:


Located in here:


And Right behind this thing:
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GO FIND IT!

The Annual Christmas Hater

Seems every year around this time i toss out a long-winded "I Hate Christmas" post, and every year i get someone telling (not asking) me "how can you hate christmas!". It swings from the usual hipster anti-capitalism crap to a teeth-rattling reaction to the sound of jingle bells, but this year i have bona-fides! I can't tell you how excited i am to report that two nights ago i fell out of bed, completely unable to breathe.

I staggered from the bedroom to the kitchen, where i opened the back door and stuck my head out into the freezing night, gasping for air. When my throat calmed down and re-opened, i meandered my way around the apartment looking for a place where i could breathe. Bedroom, studio, dining room, bathroom...all left me with this bizarre, throat-closing feeling. I tried the kitchen floor with the door open, but that got cold...and tile-y. Finally i ended up sleeping in the hallway outside our apartment.

When Lori found me (after i startled the neighbor by saying "GOOD MORNING!" while buried within the comforter in a pile in front of the door), we did some detective work. Lori theorized the culprit was the christmas tree we'd bought two nights before. It was the only new addition to the house, and it was putting out a lot of piney type fumes. This theory has panned out as since we tossed the tree in the alley, my throat has slowly re-opened and last night was the first night of uninterrupted sleep i've had all week.

So it's official. I am allergic to christmas.



Other tidbittles:

1) According to tunecore, I have made exactly 33 bucks selling my album online. It breaks down thusly:
-Total Songs bought: 34
By Contrast:
-Downloads of video of me playing "Your Body Is A Wonderland" on the accordian (in my underpants: 39
-Views of the Official BRS Sex Tape: 27,038 in 9 months
-Number of people who get the "Mick Jagger/T-Rex" thing if i do it in public: 17 (approximate).

Not bad.